Friday, September 16, 2011

something I wrote

just as I promised in my last blog that I will start sharing with you all some of my writings here it is ...please leave your feedback I will read it all, plus I love to hear what you think....


I was held captive by you, a cloudy mindset because of you. You taught me to hate, and see the ugly in all that I have been through, they will never change. Times & seasons has long gone the old has passed away. And I remain stubborn as I walk to the beat of my own drum…dumb dumb…

Feeling as I was dealt this hand of a victim rather than the victorious Wo-man you created me to be…my mind not truly transformed yet, although I confess I am a free ….  The sounds of chains dragging in every step I’ve taken. I am stuck to you, sticks and stone do hurt my bones but it’s your words, your words that have murdered me…  America has become my idol, starving myself to become “The Next Top Model”. Trapped chasing my sins, my flesh growing strong as my spirit suffocating barely living ….stand still, let him be lamp unto my feet I hear from within as my heart skips a beat; I won’t, I can’t forget what they did to me…I am directly connected to you, you and me, now we are one…I knew in my heart I wasn’t absolutely free
Bound to my past, having flashbacks of my closet, a secret full of pain… you won’t let my radiant expressions of these new emotions making an attempt to explosively spring up & out me. How can I walk in love when am surrounded by hate, deceived by hu-mans lawless doctrines, a broken rebellious twisted world, Jay Z teaching Jesus can’t save me, heresies striking philosophy is the world I live in… free to live in all my iniquity internally understanding this path I’m on… my final destination will be the gates of Hell, perception with an overcast makes everything distorted,  

Tainted at birth before I could even plant a foot on earth; I house you, I allow you to dwell in my interior, then confronted by my spirit man the rapid pulse had become lost, faint, & weak...mouth stitch shut a prisoner to this worldly body’s mindset …a vicious punishment to face myself… mentally injured by self-speculation… pause       ....…stop…             breathe, the light flickers on, & I suddenly realize…I’ve been…

Resurrected by Gods’ grace & mercy, the un-forgiveness once held me bound but his blood has loosed me, no longer bonded like a track with hair glue, time served for a crime that was committed all in my mind …but B.U.T.  better understand this in Christ I am New, Restored through the Lords word…Un-forgiveness now only a definition, no power over my life I’ve found Christ, I am suited up with his whole Amor Casting down every weight Romans 6: one eight, I am set free from S.I.N b/c of the S.O.N. I choose to become a slave to his righteousness, bring caught guilty living in right standings,  covered in His truth….

Never will He leave me …never will He forsake me. My helper, - He helps me to forgive for all your lying, He helps me to forgive thee,… you only fool yourself, with your intentions to slay me, had me believing insanity was who I’ve come to be… inside my mind shooting images replaying now what I had put behind, a pass that was meant to corrupt my youth sacred & innocent… through you I have gain, I am strong and unashamed, I am ready & willing to stand on the front line for my sister or brother to save another ….b/c of you I can testify to all for God I will live and for God I will did, you should have killed me then now your under my feet and we all know the END…. Those in CHRIST WIN!!  So un- forgiveness almost became the death of me, but

He sent a comforter to me….he comforts me letting me know that forgiveness is truly healing for me, … somehow you just benefit, he comforts me certifying un-forgiveness is like a clogged up colon full of filth debris residue past build 
up, surely stunting your grow of reaching maturity… better understand this you yourself will seek forgiveness with the ultimate Judge, the final curtain will be drawn back… will you be the weakest link ….with loving him and not me whom you see… forgive to be forgiving open up and let him in …in this there is no sin    …. I am forgiven 

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